I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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