Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
