He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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