I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
