You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
