I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
