She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
did you just send me my own nude
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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