We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
