I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
