I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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