I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
