What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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