my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
