He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
