That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
