Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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