I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
