I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
