Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
