return my video game
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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