singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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