So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
