its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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