the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
