i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
