so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
