I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
