i don't plan on having that self control this summer
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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