...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
No subtext here. People are naked.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
