He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
