i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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