just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
