He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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