you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
