I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
