I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
