better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
