living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
