he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
