In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
