the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
