batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
