Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
third nipple confirmed
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
