Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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