Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
