Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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