ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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