Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
