What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
