The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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