I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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