ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
