I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
