If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
