we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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